Updates

Pristiq Dosage
Still on the 50mg of Pristiq. I haven't had any noticeable side effects or withdrawal since I last updated. Or maybe I'm becoming used to it? Either way, it's a first. And I'm happy about it.

I have been at this dose for over a month now. I had a dr's appointment last week an he said that he wants to keep me here for a bit longer. I'm ok with that, as I think the slow & steady decrease has been good so far. I've got a bottle of 100mg pills left over, so I've been splitting them for my 50mg daily dose. I'd feel sick knowing I wasted a whole bottle of those pills, since they're so pricy. I'm fine with using those up.

Employment
Still no update about the future of my position here. I'm sure they KNOW already, but you know this government. They love fear. They lack any sort of transparency. It's not a good climate right now here.

Mindfulness
I'm getting through this employment uncertainty using some basic mindfulness techniques. Attention to breathing. Loving-kindness. I'm rereading "The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion" by Christopher Germer, and it's helping.

Away

I'm visiting my parents, in a small town in Ontario, about 4 hours west of Ottawa.
It's bringing up a bunch of baggage I thought I'd dealt with. It will be ok though.
I'm tired and feel gross because of my endometriosis. I'm trying to ignore it because I really am blessed to be able to see my family and be here once again. I never know when it will be my last time, so I'm grateful.

Even less security now...

Well, things don't look good. I work for the government, and I'm not permanent, and that doesn't bode well. The 2012 Budget was released recently, and my employer is not exempt from the cuts. They have to cut a ton, in fact. It's fucked up, because this government's mandate would suggested that not cutting my area of work would be in its best interest.

If I'm not out this year, I imagine it will be soon. Unless I get a permanent job, but we've also got hiring freezes now... it's a clusterfuck. In fact, today I got two emails informing me that the competitions I had applied to are now cancelled. And I applied for those months ago.

It makes me mad, because I'm young, educated, and I want to work. I'm not some old guy making six-figures who is just coasting until retirement. I have barely paid off my student loans and I'm facing unemployment again.

Another week at 50mg of Pristiq

So far, I haven't had a whole lot of side effects at the 50mg (decreased) dose of Pristiq.

What I have noticed is more of the same -

• headaches
• irritability / moodiness
• tiredness

I am taking one 50mg pill, which might be why it hasn't been too bad. I'm just speculating at this point, but splitting the pills might be to blame. I haven't noticed as many headaches or other issues since I started taking whole pills. I feel more "even", if that makes any sense. I'm suspecting that it effects the absorption rates or something, since the pills are supposed to be "time released". 

This week, all bets might be off. I've got my period coming near the end of the week, and I get terrible cramps, aches, and moodiness almost every time. I'm staying at 50mg until I see my doctor after Easter.