Pristiq Dosage
Still on the 50mg of Pristiq. I haven't had any noticeable side effects or withdrawal since I last updated. Or maybe I'm becoming used to it? Either way, it's a first. And I'm happy about it.
I have been at this dose for over a month now. I had a dr's appointment last week an he said that he wants to keep me here for a bit longer. I'm ok with that, as I think the slow & steady decrease has been good so far. I've got a bottle of 100mg pills left over, so I've been splitting them for my 50mg daily dose. I'd feel sick knowing I wasted a whole bottle of those pills, since they're so pricy. I'm fine with using those up.
Employment
Still no update about the future of my position here. I'm sure they KNOW already, but you know this government. They love fear. They lack any sort of transparency. It's not a good climate right now here.
Mindfulness
I'm getting through this employment uncertainty using some basic mindfulness techniques. Attention to breathing. Loving-kindness. I'm rereading "The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion" by Christopher Germer, and it's helping.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Saturday, April 07, 2012
Away
I'm visiting my parents, in a small town in Ontario, about 4 hours west of Ottawa.
It's bringing up a bunch of baggage I thought I'd dealt with. It will be ok though.
I'm tired and feel gross because of my endometriosis. I'm trying to ignore it because I really am blessed to be able to see my family and be here once again. I never know when it will be my last time, so I'm grateful.
It's bringing up a bunch of baggage I thought I'd dealt with. It will be ok though.
I'm tired and feel gross because of my endometriosis. I'm trying to ignore it because I really am blessed to be able to see my family and be here once again. I never know when it will be my last time, so I'm grateful.
Monday, April 02, 2012
Even less security now...
Well, things don't look good. I work for the government, and I'm not permanent, and that doesn't bode well. The 2012 Budget was released recently, and my employer is not exempt from the cuts. They have to cut a ton, in fact. It's fucked up, because this government's mandate would suggested that not cutting my area of work would be in its best interest.
If I'm not out this year, I imagine it will be soon. Unless I get a permanent job, but we've also got hiring freezes now... it's a clusterfuck. In fact, today I got two emails informing me that the competitions I had applied to are now cancelled. And I applied for those months ago.
It makes me mad, because I'm young, educated, and I want to work. I'm not some old guy making six-figures who is just coasting until retirement. I have barely paid off my student loans and I'm facing unemployment again.
If I'm not out this year, I imagine it will be soon. Unless I get a permanent job, but we've also got hiring freezes now... it's a clusterfuck. In fact, today I got two emails informing me that the competitions I had applied to are now cancelled. And I applied for those months ago.
It makes me mad, because I'm young, educated, and I want to work. I'm not some old guy making six-figures who is just coasting until retirement. I have barely paid off my student loans and I'm facing unemployment again.
Another week at 50mg of Pristiq
So far, I haven't had a whole lot of side effects at the 50mg (decreased) dose of Pristiq.
What I have noticed is more of the same -
This week, all bets might be off. I've got my period coming near the end of the week, and I get terrible cramps, aches, and moodiness almost every time. I'm staying at 50mg until I see my doctor after Easter.
What I have noticed is more of the same -
- headaches
- irritability / moodiness
- tiredness
This week, all bets might be off. I've got my period coming near the end of the week, and I get terrible cramps, aches, and moodiness almost every time. I'm staying at 50mg until I see my doctor after Easter.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Decreasing the Pristiq dose again
I met with my doctor last week, and he advised me to stay at each decreased dose of Pristiq for at least 2 weeks before taking another 25 mg step down. That means on the day after my colonoscopy last week, I started my decrease down to 50 mg of Pristiq.
And guess what! So far, so good.
Other than headaches, at least one a day, I haven't had any major discontinuation syndrome symptoms. I can usually take some ibuprofen and it calms down to a tolerable level.
I had a bit of a rough time the night before my test, as I had been doing my "purge" prep for the test. That involved lots of laxatives and lots of pooping. Of course, even though I took my pill well after I'd taken my last bunch of laxatives, I still found the pill, whole except for some of the coating, in the toilet about an hour later. It's a time released pill, so I don't think much had been absorbed.
And I felt it later. Or rather, I felt something later. Maybe the fasting made it worse. I had weird headaches, and that familiar zappy feeling in my head when I woke up in the morning. I couldn't take my pill again, or drink any water because of my test later that day, so I wasn't feeling great. It waxed and waned all day until I took my next dose a few hours after the test. I took 75 mg, and then decreased to 50 mg the next day.
So here's hoping this gradual decrease keeps working. It's been a lot easier than the cold turkey approach.
And guess what! So far, so good.
Other than headaches, at least one a day, I haven't had any major discontinuation syndrome symptoms. I can usually take some ibuprofen and it calms down to a tolerable level.
I had a bit of a rough time the night before my test, as I had been doing my "purge" prep for the test. That involved lots of laxatives and lots of pooping. Of course, even though I took my pill well after I'd taken my last bunch of laxatives, I still found the pill, whole except for some of the coating, in the toilet about an hour later. It's a time released pill, so I don't think much had been absorbed.
And I felt it later. Or rather, I felt something later. Maybe the fasting made it worse. I had weird headaches, and that familiar zappy feeling in my head when I woke up in the morning. I couldn't take my pill again, or drink any water because of my test later that day, so I wasn't feeling great. It waxed and waned all day until I took my next dose a few hours after the test. I took 75 mg, and then decreased to 50 mg the next day.
So here's hoping this gradual decrease keeps working. It's been a lot easier than the cold turkey approach.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Long week
Can't believe I went a week without posting.
I have been pretty busy.
Lots of drama in various places of my life.
My work has been busy and weird. I won't get into the nitty-gritty here, but there's been some shake-ups, and my boss has been really stressed out. Today she told me that she's having stress-related health problems, and she's been advised to take some time off. And she will be. I empathize, but at the same time I'm feeling jealousy. I have been having stress-related health problems for a few years now, and because of my status at work (i.e. contract) I don't have the luxury of taking medical leave. Other than a couple days here and there. If I take leave, I'm out of a job. No one's holding a spot for me or paying me while I "de-stress."And with my partner in school for the next 3 years, it's not like I have anyone to fall back on. Welfare? Disability payments? I doubt it.
Speaking of time off, I had to use two of my vacation days so I could have a colonoscopy done. One day of "prep" (laxatives and lots of crapping) and then the actual test day. I haven't had a great time of it, but it was better than other tests I've had to try to diagnose my gastrointestinal problems. I saw the doctor after the test, and he said nothing showed up on the colonoscopy. Nothing. So that's good, but it doesn't explain what the fuck is causing the pain, bloating, diarrhea or other issues I've been having. Back to square one with that.
Oh and another thing, my mother in law had promised to take me to my test, since our car recently crapped out and I needed someone to pick me up because I'd be having sedation. However, her 32 year old daughter, who is currently in medical school out west, needed her more, apparently. For no reason they will discuss, of course. It was just a "oh btw, I'll be gone for three weeks". Nevermind that we had plans. She make a big fucking deal about how she'll do something for me (or us) like she's going out of her way to help and then she just fucks off to be with my sister in law. My sister in law is a whole other story, and since she continually causes shit in the our family's life, I'm sure I'll talk about her again. Essentially, she's a spoilt, arrogant, overbearing, over-parented, golden child who can do no wrong in her parents' eyes. She's going to be a doctor, but has no life experience and talks down to everyone like she is either 1) their overbearing mother, or 2) someone who knows wayyy better than you do about your own business or anything else. She does this to me, despite me being a little more than 2 years younger. She freaks out if anyone questions her authority or points out she doesn't know what she's doing. She's going to be a great doctor, with a great bedside manner, clearly. This, along with the general overbearing hover-parenting of my mother in law, makes me want to avoid them more often than not. But I digress, it's annoying when someone promises to do something and then blows you off.
So with all these annoyances, I'm trying to take a deep breath before I freak out. That's where the name of this blog comes from. I need to refrain from my habit of freaking the fuck out and letting things get to me. Trying. Making honest attempts.
I have been pretty busy.
Lots of drama in various places of my life.
My work has been busy and weird. I won't get into the nitty-gritty here, but there's been some shake-ups, and my boss has been really stressed out. Today she told me that she's having stress-related health problems, and she's been advised to take some time off. And she will be. I empathize, but at the same time I'm feeling jealousy. I have been having stress-related health problems for a few years now, and because of my status at work (i.e. contract) I don't have the luxury of taking medical leave. Other than a couple days here and there. If I take leave, I'm out of a job. No one's holding a spot for me or paying me while I "de-stress."And with my partner in school for the next 3 years, it's not like I have anyone to fall back on. Welfare? Disability payments? I doubt it.
Speaking of time off, I had to use two of my vacation days so I could have a colonoscopy done. One day of "prep" (laxatives and lots of crapping) and then the actual test day. I haven't had a great time of it, but it was better than other tests I've had to try to diagnose my gastrointestinal problems. I saw the doctor after the test, and he said nothing showed up on the colonoscopy. Nothing. So that's good, but it doesn't explain what the fuck is causing the pain, bloating, diarrhea or other issues I've been having. Back to square one with that.
Oh and another thing, my mother in law had promised to take me to my test, since our car recently crapped out and I needed someone to pick me up because I'd be having sedation. However, her 32 year old daughter, who is currently in medical school out west, needed her more, apparently. For no reason they will discuss, of course. It was just a "oh btw, I'll be gone for three weeks". Nevermind that we had plans. She make a big fucking deal about how she'll do something for me (or us) like she's going out of her way to help and then she just fucks off to be with my sister in law. My sister in law is a whole other story, and since she continually causes shit in the our family's life, I'm sure I'll talk about her again. Essentially, she's a spoilt, arrogant, overbearing, over-parented, golden child who can do no wrong in her parents' eyes. She's going to be a doctor, but has no life experience and talks down to everyone like she is either 1) their overbearing mother, or 2) someone who knows wayyy better than you do about your own business or anything else. She does this to me, despite me being a little more than 2 years younger. She freaks out if anyone questions her authority or points out she doesn't know what she's doing. She's going to be a great doctor, with a great bedside manner, clearly. This, along with the general overbearing hover-parenting of my mother in law, makes me want to avoid them more often than not. But I digress, it's annoying when someone promises to do something and then blows you off.
So with all these annoyances, I'm trying to take a deep breath before I freak out. That's where the name of this blog comes from. I need to refrain from my habit of freaking the fuck out and letting things get to me. Trying. Making honest attempts.
Friday, March 16, 2012
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