Long week

Can't believe I went a week without posting.
I have been pretty busy.
Lots of drama in various places of my life.

My work has been busy and weird. I won't get into the nitty-gritty here, but there's been some shake-ups, and my boss has been really stressed out. Today she told me that she's having stress-related health problems, and she's been advised to take some time off. And she will be. I empathize, but at the same time I'm feeling jealousy. I have been having stress-related health problems for a few years now, and because of my status at work (i.e. contract) I don't have the luxury of taking medical leave. Other than a couple days here and there. If I take leave, I'm out of a job. No one's holding a spot for me or paying me while I "de-stress."And with my partner in school for the next 3 years, it's not like I have anyone to fall back on. Welfare? Disability payments? I doubt it.

Speaking of time off, I had to use two of my vacation days so I could have a colonoscopy done. One day of "prep" (laxatives and lots of crapping) and then the actual test day. I haven't had a great time of it, but it was better than other tests I've had to try to diagnose my gastrointestinal problems. I saw the doctor after the test, and he said nothing showed up on the colonoscopy. Nothing. So that's good, but it doesn't explain what the fuck is causing the pain, bloating, diarrhea or other issues I've been having. Back to square one with that.

Oh and another thing, my mother in law had promised to take me to my test, since our car recently crapped out and I needed someone to pick me up because I'd be having sedation. However, her 32 year old daughter, who is currently in medical school out west, needed her more, apparently. For no reason they will discuss, of course. It was just a "oh btw, I'll be gone for three weeks". Nevermind that we had plans. She make a big fucking deal about how she'll do something for me (or us) like she's going out of her way to help and then she just fucks off to be with my sister in law. My sister in law is a whole other story, and since she continually causes shit in the our family's life, I'm sure I'll talk about her again. Essentially, she's a spoilt, arrogant, overbearing, over-parented, golden child who can do no wrong in her parents' eyes. She's going to be a doctor, but has no life experience and talks down to everyone like she is either 1) their overbearing mother, or 2) someone who knows wayyy better than you do about your own business or anything else. She does this to me, despite me being a little more than 2 years younger. She freaks out if anyone questions her authority or points out she doesn't know what she's doing. She's going to be a great doctor, with a great bedside manner, clearly. This, along with the general overbearing hover-parenting of my mother in law, makes me want to avoid them more often than not. But I digress, it's annoying when someone promises to do something and then blows you off.

So with all these annoyances, I'm trying to take a deep breath before I freak out. That's where the name of this blog comes from. I need to refrain from my habit of freaking the fuck out and letting things get to me. Trying. Making honest attempts.